I have a colleague who had just have a vacation last week. He told us stories about his vacation and about his family and how much he missed them. He said that his vacation is not enough. I am happy for him for he saw his family. I always envy people who has family that they can run to whenever they have problems. Somewhere where you feel feel safe and warm. I grow up from one relative to another and I don't have that feeling of being home. I envy my cousins for they have a place where they can hide whenever they feel that the world is unsafe. I envied them because they have a place where they feel that they are loved.

It is very dreadful for me waking up everyday and going to work but I felt greater pain when I return back to the place where I live, where I feel like I am a stranger. I place I call my home yet there is no one to meet me or even ask how my day was. Being alone is sometimes good, I guess I am used to it already. But I can't help it and wish for something more than what was given to me. I can't help it but wish that I have a family. I can't help it but to feel hatred towards God for He had given others parents and I don't. I don't know if it is a sin to hate God but I know I am in the right place to feel this kind of feeling.

How I wish this sorrow would end. How I wish I can find a place I can call home where I would feel safe and warm. How I wish I could end a day in a place where someone would meet me and ask how my day was. How I wish.