walls within us

This is what I observed when two PLU's meet on the street or a place where there are straight people around - we never talked. No smile, no nod, nothing. Yet we cry for unity, we long for friends or a lover, a partner in life, yet we can't dare show it in public. We can't show that we are alone and are afraid to reveal the real us within. I am guilty of this too. I walked out in the street pretending that I am happy, that I am like a steel yet I cried at night for I am alone. I pretended that I can stand alone. That I don't need a man, I don't need someone in life yet it is what I long for and what I have been dreaming almost everyday.

I would always observed this even if two effeminate gays would be in one place that they would seldom smile to each other or not smile at all. Sometimes they often even quarrel in public. Even if its for those who are discreet, they seem to show that they hated each other.

This might me part of our culture that we seldom smile to each other. It has never been our custom to smile to strangers. We Filipinos take pride for being hospitable but we are not friendly. I think the root of our poverty is not corruption. Corruption is the fruit of our evil desires to be better than anyone else. We want to have friends in high places, yet when they become far better than us, we betray them.