Just a few more hours and I'll be out from here. I am planning to head somewhere in the south tomorrow. I have read in an online forum about a sort of a resort somewhere in the south which is just about two hours from the city. I am planning to spend the night there. Hopefully this would help clear my mind. I don't know if this would really help me, but I am hoping that it will.
It seems that I am tired of the routine that I have been doing almost everyday. Work, home, school, work and home. I can't even figure out what direction is my life heading to. I feel that I wanted something, yet I don't know what it is. Maybe I know what it is, I just don't want to admit. Maybe because of pride or my insecurities. I don't want to accept that I love this guy and I let him go. And I go out into the world and let pretended that I am happy that it is easy for me to find another one. What they didn't know is that I cried almost everyday. I cried because he was able to moved on and I was left. I cried because I wasn't able to tell him how much I love him. I don't know if I am grieving right now for this loss.
I am planning to buy a jar, just like what I saw on movies. You are going to write down everything that you wish to forget then you either burn them or bury them. I hope this would help me for this declaration that I am willing to move on and that I have to. I don't want to be stuck in here forever. When I search within myself asking what is it that I really long for, I couldn't figure it out. I don't know what is it that I wanted. Attention, love, money, or simply a feeling of contentment of what I have. I don't exactly know right now.
I want this feeling to be over. This feeling which I know that this has been inside me even before I met this guy. This feeling that I wanted to be love by someone and be appreciated. A feeling so ancient within myself yet remained a mystery and unresolved.
It seems that I am tired of the routine that I have been doing almost everyday. Work, home, school, work and home. I can't even figure out what direction is my life heading to. I feel that I wanted something, yet I don't know what it is. Maybe I know what it is, I just don't want to admit. Maybe because of pride or my insecurities. I don't want to accept that I love this guy and I let him go. And I go out into the world and let pretended that I am happy that it is easy for me to find another one. What they didn't know is that I cried almost everyday. I cried because he was able to moved on and I was left. I cried because I wasn't able to tell him how much I love him. I don't know if I am grieving right now for this loss.
I am planning to buy a jar, just like what I saw on movies. You are going to write down everything that you wish to forget then you either burn them or bury them. I hope this would help me for this declaration that I am willing to move on and that I have to. I don't want to be stuck in here forever. When I search within myself asking what is it that I really long for, I couldn't figure it out. I don't know what is it that I wanted. Attention, love, money, or simply a feeling of contentment of what I have. I don't exactly know right now.
I want this feeling to be over. This feeling which I know that this has been inside me even before I met this guy. This feeling that I wanted to be love by someone and be appreciated. A feeling so ancient within myself yet remained a mystery and unresolved.
best of luck with the trip, mite!
ReplyDeletesan kaya banda sa south yan. baka naman halimaw sa banga mabili mo dude.
ReplyDeletetake pictures if you can!
ReplyDeletetama yan. ilabas mo lang.
ReplyDeleteps. ibulong mo sakin kung san yan. parang trip ko rin mag alone time.
bunso, san ka ba nag-stay? kung andito ka sa metro manila, suggest ko sa iyo ang the farm at san benito sa lipa city batangas
ReplyDeletesooooooobrang peaceful dun
even sir arnlod clavio can attest to that
ibinibida ko yun hindi dahil batangenyo ako, pero swear, magaling spa dun, walang tv, radio..talagang sobrang peaceful
sensya na ha... i suggest na after mo mag-meditate sa isang peaceful resort... how about look for a party at nighttime?
ReplyDeletei worry na baka lalo ka mag-senti nyan dahil mag-isa ka nga... i can attest that, i just hope na mali ako
I am planning to buy a jar, just like what I saw on movies. You are going to write down everything that you wish to forget then you either burn them or bury them.Wow. That's a really nice idea. I might try it. Hope everything goes your way dude.
ReplyDelete