Monday, March 2, 2009

Taming myself

I am almost done reading "The Catcher in the Rye." I am suppose to finish it by February but I haven't because of the time my school and work demands and I also have lots of errands to do.
While reading the book I can't help but envy the life of Holden Caulfield. I just wanna be like him but I wasn't able to do it. I just wanna be bad, I am just so tired of living a good life and being good. I want to scream out loud in the streets that I hate God but I just cant because I am scared that some fanatic of religion would throw stone at me. I wanted to be kick out of school and have failing grades and all but I won't be able to that anymore. I have read a lot of self-help books already and they just wouldn't work. I am so tired of chasing success that I am thinking chasing failure would be a good option but even failure is very hard for me to chase. Being a failure is such a luxury to me which I can't afford. I just want to let that bad person out of me. There are so many bad things that I haven't done and I miss of not doing them when I was still young. I want to throw stones in that glass window, I just want to throw notebooks at my teacher just like what my aunt did when she was still in high school and a lot more.

4 comments :

  1. love catcher. i think everyone who's read it sees a little bit of holden in themselves. even those of us who are good have that bit of rebellion in us. i guess that's why the book has survived through all these years.

    "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Love that book, we had to read it when I was in High School. Lots of swear words as i recall. LOL. but good theme.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ZOMG! JUST FUCKING SCREAM ALREADY! lol

    i do it all the time :)
    curse about it. cuss cuss.

    we just really have to keep on dreaming for something we know we can't have.no? or maybe you can-you just need that extra push ;)

    ReplyDelete
  4. haha you dont have to chse success just work hard for what you do best and god will give you something good in return i guess hehe

    estudyante ka pa pala ilan taon ka na ba?email me we could chat sometimes too

    ReplyDelete