Yesterday I received a text message from my teacher in English that if I can drop by in school before I go to work. I was thinking at first that I flunk in my exams which really scared me but it was even worst. As part of my requirement I have to go to stage and read something in front of around 50 people. Its quite a few audience to some but I don't really like speaking in front of this kind of audience.
I went there today before I go to work. I arrived an hour late, I was just trying to avoid doing. It was raining and I wished that it rained hard so that I will have an excuse not to do the activity. When I arrived after a few minutes I was called for my presentation which is like a dramatic oral reading. My hands were trembling as I went up stage and even my schoolmates noticed it. So this is what if feels like of having butterflies in my stomach which I remembered from a book that I have read when I was still in high school and I didn't like the feeling. If you ever thought that butterflies were beautiful creatures, well, the feeling of having butterflies in your stomach is not really good believe me. I was able to finish it though with countless of errors, it was a total disaster.
When I think of what I have done, I can't help but wonder that I have really changed a lot. Before I used to be a part of school activities like declamation and oration and I don't have these stagefrights. I just noticed right now of how fast did I change. My views in life and the things that I love to do. I no longer love playing soccer yet I still remember those days and sometimes I miss playing soccer. Maybe I just love to kick some "balls" or I just don't know. Before I am not scared of public speaking and its one of the activities that I really loved. Speaking infront of several innocent looking students and speaking infront of them which you really know that out of five hundred around five of them were only the people who are listening. I just love it, maybe I just love to bore people to death.