In my desperate attempt to forget him I tried to surf on some howto websites. I've checked on wikihow.com on "how to forget how much you love someone" and "how to forget about someone important." I couldn't say that it help me. Right now I really want to forget what I feel about him yet everytime I tried I failed. Something deep inside of me tells me that I shouldn't, that those memories has to be kept. However as I keep on reminiscing those memories it just makes me feel very sad. I was hoping that I would be better as the new the comes but I find myself missing him more.
I received a message from him tonight. Some messages like take care and such but what I like most is that he sent me a message telling me to go back. I know I shouldn't do it because it just complicates things but I just want to. Right now I don't care about my dreams and what I want is just to stay with him. I remembered a story by Paulo Coelho " The Alchemist " there was a part in the novel that the boy meets a girl and he felt something special about the girl. Its a feeling that you want to and the desire to live and spent your life with the person. Could this be the same feeling that I am talking about? I am scared to take this kind of risk. For I have witnessed a lot of peoples lives that got devastated because of it. I hope I'm making the right decision.