migration

I've been thinking of moving to a different place. I have been thinking that I would be fine wherever I live. I don't have a family from where I am living right now too. Its been years already since I last saw them and I don't have any plans of seeing them again. I have been thinking before of going out of the country but when I think of what happened to those people who works abroad including my relatives saddens me. I don't get much out of life and when I hear stories about them I might not have any life at all if I work abroad. It seems that their life there if just all about money. It seems that life abroad is all about work and how to earn money. I need money, lots of money but I don't want my life to revolve in just earning money.

I've been thinking of moving in the northern part or the country. I can take advantage of these BPO companies that are sprouting like mushrooms, a callcenter agent maybe. The pay is not that bad at all and I can go to school at the same time. In a place where thousands of people occupies a per mile area. Where I can live and exist as if I'm a ghost and I can live a life that I have been dreaming of, be invisible. In a place where everybody is busy trying to live their own life.

It seems that I need to have a new environment. I have been seeing the same people for a long time already. The problem with seeing the same people almost everyday is that they started to become a part of my life. I started to be attached with them. I know from experience that they won't stay forever with you and you can't be with them forever and everytime they left would take me weeks or months from my life of getting normal again. And then one day you bump into each other in some place and you don't remember this person anymore. You even forgotten the name of that person where in years ago who you have cried when that person left. Or the worst thing might have happen if you are seeing the same person each day they would try to change you into something that you are not. I experienced this before, for a few weeks everything went smoothly and then one day they asked why I am like this and why I acted like that. When you get attached to someone they would somehow take your identity, take that something in you that makes you unique from the rest. They would take every little piece that makes you unique and change you into something you're not but what the group considered as acceptable.

I am planning to move next year after I get my thirteenth month pay. That would also give me extra time to prepare and save. I was very much inspired while listening to Miley Cyrus. I thought she was right. Most events that I remembered in my life are not those times that I have eaten ice cream or drinking coffee with marshmallows while watching the rain. But those are the times of my life when I spent the night alone in the hospital because I was sick, when I have to locked myself in my room when I got German measles, those times when I watched others eat when I was so hungry, the times when others played while I have to worked in the farm.
I am so excited. I can't wait for this year to be over. I would be starting a new life. Something better than where I am right now.