my lending power

One thing that I don't like is borrowing money or something from other people. I hate to ask someone for a favor like to get coffee or something. As much as possible I avoided asking help from people. But I wonder why I am treated like a slave by other people. They are always asking for help, to do this and to do that.

There are people who are calling and texting me to borrow money. The problem is they ask me if I have some money and I don't want to lie to them. I can't say no to them. I don't have the strength to say no or to say that I need to buy something. Theirs are needs and mine are just wants. I don't want to blame them for whatever situation they have right now. But some of them just lack proper financial management. We are earning the same salary and yet they can't manage their pay to meet their needs. Their needs are somewhat too much. My wants are needs to them already. And they ran at me to let them borrow some money, some of them don't pay me back. When someone borrows money from me I don't expect that they pay me back. I already put it in my mind that its something that was lost already or something like paying to this world for letting me stay or giving me life. I consider it a payment for the air that I breath, the sunlight, the chirping of the birds and just for the reason that I live.

I always remember the words of my uncle even if I wasn't treated nicely. He said that you have to established your business first or your source of income before dreaming of those luxury cars and mansions. He said that if I am an employee I should not build a house first but instead a nice bed. Those with nice pillows and comforters since you spend most of your lifetime on your bed. Invest in the place where you regain your strength and you enjoy your dreams. But as much as possible don't spend too much time sleeping. Think of sleeping as a luxury, which I think is indeed a luxury at this time.

I just wonder why there are some people who thinks that they must have those expensive things. People who thinks that having a luxurious lifestyle is their birthright. I don't consider myself as one of them. And that I realize even when I was still young. I realize that being given the chance to live in this world is like a debt that I have to repay. Living with them makes me feel that I don't belong with them and that until now I still feel that I don't have the right to be here in this world. I just wonder why others don't feel the same as I do.