Tuesday, July 7, 2009

breaking free

I am planning to burn to Bible, the book that was given to me by my uncle this week. I am just waiting for the right time, that very much awaited sign to show that I really have to destroy it. I have donated to the library the books that I have already read but not the Bible. I have read this book and all I found are lies. Lies that goes deeper down to the hearts of every being I met. I don't want to donate the it to the library because I don't want another person to be reading the book and later found out that it was all lies.

I have faced a lot of my fears this week. One of the greatest fears I have is failure. I am fear to fail someone, I fear of not meeting someone's expectation. Yet this week, I failed. I feel angry to myself. I don't know how I would be able to redeem myself or if I would be able to. But one thing I have noticed is, its not as bad as I thought. Hitting the bottom and hitting it hard is not as bad as I imagined. I would say that the scary feeling of failure is far worst than knowing that you already failed.

Knowing that a part of me failed makes me realized that its not the end of the world. I began to consider other options, think of the things that I have and I can say that I can still face the world. I don't know why, but I feel my strength are renewed. I feel that I have this new strength, strength that can carry me a mile, strength that I only found when those things that I treasured most are taken from me.

5 comments :

  1. burn it.burn it. whooooooo
    its liberating. go on, burn it :-p

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  2. if you are considered about your fear of failure, make sure to consider the density of the books pages when considering how you plan to burn. nothing can top failure and fan the flames of your rage than trying to burn the bible and only blackening and charring the outer edges of the pages.

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  3. it feels like transferrence to me.

    @herbs devil much?

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  4. i think you just need someone to talk to

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  5. @ Herbs.... wohoooooooo ka jan!!!! pag sinunog niya yung Bible, kasama kang magliliyab gagah... hahahahahaha

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