breaking free

I am planning to burn to Bible, the book that was given to me by my uncle this week. I am just waiting for the right time, that very much awaited sign to show that I really have to destroy it. I have donated to the library the books that I have already read but not the Bible. I have read this book and all I found are lies. Lies that goes deeper down to the hearts of every being I met. I don't want to donate the it to the library because I don't want another person to be reading the book and later found out that it was all lies.

I have faced a lot of my fears this week. One of the greatest fears I have is failure. I am fear to fail someone, I fear of not meeting someone's expectation. Yet this week, I failed. I feel angry to myself. I don't know how I would be able to redeem myself or if I would be able to. But one thing I have noticed is, its not as bad as I thought. Hitting the bottom and hitting it hard is not as bad as I imagined. I would say that the scary feeling of failure is far worst than knowing that you already failed.

Knowing that a part of me failed makes me realized that its not the end of the world. I began to consider other options, think of the things that I have and I can say that I can still face the world. I don't know why, but I feel my strength are renewed. I feel that I have this new strength, strength that can carry me a mile, strength that I only found when those things that I treasured most are taken from me.