Saturday, February 11, 2012

dating...

I went to a date last night. Despite of my busy schedule I find it hard to face this Valentines Day being single. So I thought that rushing out there in the open crowd and dating someone would help. Even if I am in no rush the guy I dated last night, in terms of physical appearance is quite a catch. So when he asked if I can go out with him somewhere since we were not able to know each other better on our first meeting I said yes.

I know that meeting him would bring whatever we have to the next level which is supposed to excite me but I had some doubts. Either I am already comfortable being single or I am used to it, I couldn't really tell. But as I am on my way to meet him my thoughts were on how many assignments I would have to rush to complete just to have a time for him. How I can no longer flirt and enjoy the dating scene because I am already taken. Or how I would miss going to the theater alone and miss the company of myself. But on the other hand I was thinking that it should be time for me to have a partner. Someone that I can share dreams and we can dream together and then conquer the world, well maybe not really into conquering the world but retiring together at the end of the day and share with that person how our day was.

When I met him, he was no longer the guy that I first met. He keeps on talking about the previous guy that he dated and how good looking they are. Well, I am not good looking but I am not that bad looking either. He called someone and turned the speaker on and I could hear their conversation. I then realized I should have just go with my friend and get drunk somewhere in Malate instead of being with him.

When I arrived home last night I was depressed. I already felt heartbroken before our love story has started or maybe because it was all my fault. I was thinking too much. That is just I told myself but I guess I have to changed my way of how I view the world. Think less and expect because it always ends up hurting myself.

As I woke up today the I could still feel the pain but on the other hand it would be better right than spending days with a guy who would just make me feel miserable for many days and maybe even years.

Happy Valentines Day everyone.