Let me talk about love (2)

The first time I read this story from Mary Renault in her novel The Persian Boy. I was a college student at that time, a freshman as I can remember and I was tired already of reading the works of Sidney Sheldon and John Grisham. I've read Paulo Coelho's the Alchemist which gives me an idea that a thicker book is a good company. There was no bookstore from the place where I grew up but some department stores would sell used books, it is there where I bought a copy of The Persian Boy. The cover looks yellow and its thick enough for me.
The novel is all about Alexander the Great. He has been known to conquer the world that was known during his time. It was just shocking for me though when I saw his name on the list of most notorious men in the world, what was written that he has done was pretty cruel though.
Anyway I got interested in his love life. He has this eunuch named Bagoas. In the novel The Persian Boy it was narrated by Bagoas of how they make love and how much he loved Alexander. The book is a fiction though but there are several historical events documented that supports the story in the novel. It took me days to finish reading the book not because I don't have the time or I got lazy of reading it but because I know that no matter how thick the book was it could surely come to an end and that I am trying to prolong. I think everybody has this feeling that if you are reading a book and you really loved it so much that you are saddened as you read the story and turn each pages of the book. Also I can't help but to imagine the events on the book. Alexander also has a very close friend which their relationship is also a very controversial one because some historians claims that their relationship was also sexual.
When Hephaistion died Alexander mourned for his death and for two days he just lay in bed and cried. Both of them are gone but the relationship that bonds between them leaves so much speculation in such which up to this date remains a mystery. In to this date this could be what we can refer to as discreet relationship. Even with the help of scholars would not be able to determine the kind of relationship that they have shared.
When I finally finished reading the book I felt so sad for a few days which I can still remember. Its that kind of feeling that you wanted to cry but you can't because you are not that sad enough to put tears on your eyes which frustrates you.