how far will you go?

I saw my crush yesterday while I was on the way to work. He was eating and alone. I don't know if its only me or most us when that we try to ignore someone and pretend that we have no feelings towards them but the fact is we are willing to cross an ocean just to see their face and be with them. We used to work together and his cubicle is actually next to mine but I don't talk to him that much. We just discuss about religion, sports and beers and nothing about our personal lives or the girls and the boys that we dated. If my gay friends would have listen to what we are talking about they would have puke and I can join them any minute. I don't know but when you know that you're gay and that all you want to date are boys you are no longer interested in stuff that straight people likes and talking about them wants you to puke. Well anyway I saw him yesterday. He used to look like Ian Veneracion before only he looks younger though. Every time when we used to meet each other in the pantry or in the hallway I just pretended that I didn't saw him and just walk straight but deep inside my heart is beating so fast and I felt like I was driving in the fast lane or maybe one kilometer higher than cloud nine.

I hurried to work when I saw him yesterday and pretended that I didn't saw him. I immediately put my stuff in my station and hurried back and pretended that I was hungry. He was in the counter when I went in and call his name and pretended that as if I was shocked to see him and what a coincidence that it happened that we are in the same place. I gain weight as I've noticed and he no longer look that cute to me but that feeling that you want to lay in bed beside him is still there. I don't know if its love already or just lust. They said that if you still like a person even if his physical appearance there must be a little love in it already. I don't think so that I am in love. Anyway there are times that I acted like a fool just to have a little talk to him. There was this one time that I saw him inside a grocery store that I also went in and bought some goods that I don't really need. I have heard a lot of people do crazy things because of love. People that are willing to get water from the moon and get the stars just to be with their loved ones. I saw this episode once in a talk show that there was this guy who went to Hong Kong just to say to his crush that they just happened to be in the same place at the same time, weird. I wouldn't spend that much just to follow some guy, I don't even go to England to see Prince William.

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I received a text message today from someone. He was this guy that was introduced to me by my colleague. We have talked over the phone already. He said that he saw me once when I was on my way to work and he was together with my colleague. At work my friend asked me that the guy that he was with that morning asked for my name and my number. I didn't really pay much attention about that. After a month a friend of mine gave my number to my colleague and he gave my number to his friend (uh, is that how I supposed to say that?) and he then call me the next morning. I thought I sucked because I am not really good into this kind of stuff. My colleague knew that I was gay and I think he is too. Anyway we are exchanging messages now with his friend and I don't know if I would have a future with this, well I hope so.